23. Dotish deeds

The day ends wondering the dotish deeds of my world,
and the silhouette of fading shadows which should no longer exist for me,

but for a thousandth time they cry,

for their haphazard dark shades of mind.

Denial being sterner, letting lose the identity,
overthinking, comparing myself with others,
why are we so stubborn?
Chained to the paradigm limits, an unconscious reality,
and a perplexed destiny in front of me,
lies merely shattered as broken pieces,
my fragile thoughts, unable to reconcile, I need to wake up soon.

Now I ventured beyond the norm,
terrified of zephyr that prevails the silence.
Burning my sleep for an unknown expedition,
and this trepidation, all the blaming experience,
all they said that hewed the innocence in me,
guilt, impurity, knowledge and sin I have been,
all the things they said I was and will ever be,
I think about my dotish deeds,
exasperated and embarrassed, I lie beseeched to an unknown destiny,
how it has all the control on me, will I ever really set free?

I pulled back to reality, presiding all I can helm,
whatsoever lies beneath or beyond this epitome,

everything all I can steer,
its exhilaration would end up if stopped now.
So I rubbed my eyes, gaped in wonder and paced forth,
for a journey I am soon going to be a part of,
the day ends wondering the dotish deeds of me and my world.